I haven’t been writing on this here blog in a while because my job has taken me prisoner in a dungeon cell where they are using unmentionable torture techniques to completely expel all the ideas from my head and put them onto a form of paper.
My team and I have been holed up for almost 2 weeks now in one bland room filled with charts and corporate posters. We eat every meal together while staring at the color-coded production calendar on the wall. Will this yellow square give me an interesting idea? Please, yellow square. Please!
Then the leader enters. He sits and looks at us and listens to each idea as we shine it for him and place it on its stand before him. Never does he accept one as it is. Most times he yells, “Start over!” The yellow square doesn’t holds back his laughter. He feels no pressure. He feels no leg spasms after sitting in the same hard chair for 12 hours, only taking breaks to grab an unhealthy vending snack. He feels no nagging discomfort about spending his fleeting twenties in an over-air-conditioned conference room.
Well, fuck you, yellow square! This is insane. I need time to live my life. And write my blog. And go on dates. And breathe.
But I guess that will have to wait. For now, I must think up new and exciting ways to sell a car to the uninterested Gen Y market.