It’s April 8th, 2010.
I have one month left of my twenties.
Holy.
Mackerel.
I’ve spent a lot of time hiding the fact that this day was coming. I omit the year whenever I can. I respond “I’m in my twenties” when people ask my age. Because, for most of my life, I’ve dreaded May 8th, 2010. I’ve dreaded the wrinkles, the chest freckles, and all the expectations that I failed to meet. But here I am, facing them all. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
And, actually, I don’t really want to.
Because the twenties…. well, the twenties were brutal. Incredibly fun and inappropriate, but difficult. They say the twenties are all about figuring yourself out. But they don’t usually say this until you’re turning thirty. Upon my twentieth birthday, I wish someone would have said, “You’re gonna try a bunch of shit in the next decade. And some of it you’re going to absolutely love. And some of it is going to make you feel either disgusted with yourself or sad or confused or just plain mad. But you have to go through this stuff so you can see what you’re all about. So do it. And don’t look back. But try to learn from every situation.”
But nobody said a word about that. So I found myself waking up in random hot tubs and crying in showers and screaming all the way to work. And I didn’t understand what it all meant, so I just kept waking up in random hot tubs and crying in showers and screaming all the way to work. But I didn’t take the time to learn from all that stuff until I recently took the year off to mull it all over. Here’s what I could have learned:
20 – I turned 20 in Spain. This was around the time that I drank too much street calimocho and threw up in my boyfriend’s mouth. No lesson learned then, but upon further review, I should have seen: I needed to control my alcohol. And that the guy who simply wiped his chin and took me home was a keeper.
21 – I got kicked out of a strip joint on Sunset Blvd for being a belligerent eye-roller and taking off my top, even though I was simply a patron and did not possess any of the assets required of a stripper. Should have learned: To control my alcohol. And that I should cross off ‘stripping’ from the list of back-up plans (still have yet to do that).
22 – Freaking out about my steadily climbing grad school debt, I finally stopped drinking to focus on getting a job. I focused a lot on that and only that. So it all went by in a flash. I only remember wearing slutty outfits and having a panic attack that showed itself in chronic foot itch. I was in South Beach! Should have learned to balance.
23 & 24 – I lived in London, Sao Paulo, NYC, and SF. Should have noticed I was more interested in traveling than advertising. WHY didn’t I see that then!?
25 – The chronic foot itch came back on the first day of my first job. All I could think about was the year’s lack of spring break. Should have realized that this job was a mere stone on the path to something bigger. Like most things are.
26 – Moved in with a boyfriend after knowing him three months. Should have learned to NEVER move in with a boyfriend after knowing him three months.
27 – I shot lots of commercials and actually enjoyed myself with clients. Never trusting myself, I cowered in the corner and became the girl who always said, ‘I don’t know. What do you think?” I should have realized I’m actually good at my job.
28 – I slaved away for 16 hours a day doing more than I could handle. Should have learned how to say no. And that being married to a job (especially one that doesn’t really help many people) wasn’t how I wanted to live my life. Oh wait, I did learn that. So I…
29 – …traveled alone and finally learned all these lessons all at once. But most importantly, I learned to listen to myself so that future lessons won’t take another round-the-world trip to sink in.
In honor of these confusing yet exhilarating years, I will spend this last month of my twenties reliving them all. I plan to get totally wasted, travel, fall in love quickly, work feverishly, and perhaps take my clothes off in a strip club. And I will also go skydiving and make an eggplant parmigiana because I want to. Yes! This will undoubtedly be a great month. I will let you know if I make it to 30.
The year was 2000. I wore my jeans up to my bellybutton. My haircut looked like a mushroom, and I drank tequila for sport. And then I wondered why I couldn’t meet a decent guy. 
Ok, yes I had mushroom hair, but do you see that six-pack? Hot damn. I still thought I was fat. Could have learned to love my body and use it to my advantage. Sigh.
2008. Better hair. No more padded bras. No more tequila. Getting closer. Plus, I finally realized that relationships are the most important! That’s when I left everybody I knew to go traveling. I swear it makes sense kinda.
This is the face of learning. Sometimes it takes a wooden pillow and a mosquito net to get the brain to make sense of stuff.
Comments
43 responses to “A decade is ten years. That’s a long time.”
Wow – that picture brings back some memories. Eek!!
Hi, I have visited your website,it was good as it has lots of information about work from home jobs.
WORK FROM HOME
Uh…try to remember that your mom reads your stuff. I think I'm gonna resign from the "watch your kid" union. Where was I when you were almost stripping??! Seriously-you survied and became a better person and that's what counts. Bring on the 30's!
I am all about getting wasted and jumping out of planes, but maybe not in that order!
Uh, thanks Gregory Williams. I thank you for your offer to have me work from home. I have a few jobs though.
LL, I do not have any memories surrounding this picture.
Anonymous: You, alright. I learned it by watching you.
You just summed up all of the things I missed out on by being a super young mom.
Too bad I also missed out on that whole figuring-yourself-out part. I spent that entire decade trying to be super mom. When my son left the state a few months ago to live with his dad I was suddenly struck with the realization that I have no idea who the hell I am when I am not being "mom."
Kind of a scary realization.
quite possibly the closest account of my 20s i've ever come across. minus the stop-drinking part.
HellO!…
Hello! Want to exchange the trackbacks? I have posted to my blog, you can check! Thanks. :)))…
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. A great read. I’ll certainly be back.
Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any points for inexperienced blog writers? I’d certainly appreciate it.
Howdy exceptional blog! Does running a blog such as this require a lot of work? I have virtually no understanding of coding however I was hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyhow, should you have any ideas or techniques for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off topic nevertheless I just had to ask. Many thanks!
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Howdy intelligent points.. now why didn’t i think of those? Off topic barely, is that this page sample merely from an odd set up or else do you employ a custom-made template. I exploit a webpage i’m in search of to improve and nicely the visuals is likely one of many key issues to finish on my list.
I admit, I have not been on this webpage in a long time… however it was another pleasure to see It is such an essential topic and ignored by so numerous, even professionals. I thank you to help making people more aware of possible issueExcellent stuff as typical.
HellO!…
Hello! Want to exchange the trackbacks? I have posted to my blog, you can check! Thanks. :)))…
Hey there! I understand this is somewhat off-topic but I had to ask. Does managing a well-established website like yours require a massive amount work? I’m completely new to writing a blog but I do write in my journal on a daily basis. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or tips for new aspiring bloggers. Thankyou!
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