July 23, 2012

Two scrambed henstruations, please.

Do birds ever die in magicians’ sleeves?

Are people from Tobago called Tobogans? 

If so, do they get discounts on sleds?

Do all of Sara Lee’s ex boyfriends cringe and say ‘I dont!’ when the jingle says, ‘Nobody doesn’t love Sara Lee?’

Why did Sara Lee ever even go for a double negative in a slogan?

Do conservatives eat eggs? 

Should I tell them they are abortions? 

I mean, they kind of are. Or maybe they’re just hen menstruation. Henstruation.

Pretty sure they’re abortions because once I found a dead fetus in an egg when I was making a cake with my friend Karina, which I’ve mentioned already here.

I never baked a cake again.

Why do hotels still give out shower caps? 

Who uses those shower caps?

Did any hotel owner ever think ‘maybe I should spend the money on wifi instead?’

Or pillow chocolates?

You don’t see enough pillow chocolates these days.

Do hummingbirds sleep? 

Why do we feel more free when we’re on vacation? 

Why can’t we get all crazy and careless and spontaneous and meet strangers when we’re in our homelands? 

Or is that just me? 

Will you guys make sure I get all crazy and careless and spontaneous and meet more strangers when I come back? 

Are all maps wrong, or am I just really bad at reading maps?

Pretty sure all maps are a little wrong.

Do famous people get together secretly and say, ‘Can you believe how famous we are?!’ and then jump up and down?

I would.

What is the deal with Duty Free shops?

Is it really worth carting around a huge bottle of scotch to save four dollars?

And why do they only sell perfume and liquor in those places?

I am really happy I don’t own a duty free shop.

I am really happy I don’t own a Hummer, a sexually transmitted disease, or a cockroach farm.

Although, I am warming up to cockroaches.

They are always there for you.

Why don’t you read more questions here or here.

Why don’t I go explore? I am here!

{ 7 comments }

mambert July 23, 2012 at 9:18 am

You need to come home ASAP. I think you have vacationitits, a disease marked by strange questions and an affinity for cockroaches.

Madgew July 23, 2012 at 9:51 am

I am glad you are exploring such important questions while on vacation. When do you come home? Hope you are taking photos.

Mark July 23, 2012 at 8:27 pm

I liked Mambert’s comment!! I think you have been out of your comfort zone for long enough!! Come back to America and marry meeeee!

iampisspot July 24, 2012 at 1:05 am

All of the above three commenter’s names begin with ‘M’.

Mine doesn’t.

Sorry.

Janice MacLeod July 24, 2012 at 2:21 am

In Japan they give out toothbrushes at hotels. Like in every room. Does this mean the Japanese don’t bring their own toothbrushes with them? What’s that all about?

tracey July 31, 2012 at 9:35 am

I think the shower caps are to wear in bed to keep the cockroaches from crawling in your ears…

Karina August 3, 2012 at 9:38 am

That chicken abortion was gross… I’m sad you’ve never baked a cake since… but I guess that’s given you the time to perfect your bread pudding because… holy baby jesus is that delicious! Espero que te estes divirtiendo :)

let’s make a cake when you get back.

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