The eighties were a fine decade. I was there. I admit they existed. I had a Caboodle and holey jean shorts. Sadly, I wasn’t old enough to partake in all the free-flowing cocaine and dollar bills I hear mentioned when someone daydreams of the eighties. I also missed out on the music so often played now at frat parties and dive bars. My dad listened to opera. My mom listened to Motown. I didn’t have any older siblings to introduce me to cool stuff like that band with the one-armed drummer. Until college, I really thought there was a very famous deaf leopard at some zoo.
For me, the eighties were a decade of dates at McDonald’s Playland, torturing babysitters and learning why my fingers smelled funny when I stuck them in my butt. When I think of my past, I much prefer to reminisce about the nineties, when I wore padded bras, spent dates at Olive Garden and moved to California.
Some people, however, lived their best years in that colorful decade. They had sex in a bathroom at the Rainbow Room with Ron Jeremy. They bought stock in IBM. They amassed the biggest collection of cassettes and betas on the block. They fucked every White Snake member on a black lacquered table. They partied with Wham at fancy beach parties and tattooed roses on their tits. They wore shoulder pads and sold real estate and then went home to their black and red apartments to drink fancy wine with a side of cocaine.
They lived through that decade. And some refuse to believe it’s over. These eighties dwellers aren’t trendsetters who are ‘getting back to their roots’ by adopting an updated set of leggings from Forever XXI. In the twenty years since that decade, Eighties Leighdies haven’t changed and they don’t want to. Some still have small traces of pink zinc oxide in the creases of their noses. They’re a rapidly endangered species, but they make appearances at Au Bon Pains and Kinkos locations near you. When I see one, I nod my head and smile in understanding. Because I get it. I know they can’t let go of a time so great. I understand why they want to continue to look like an extra in Working Girl. Because Working Girls had it made. They had power in their bangs and knew how to work a shoulder pad.
The next time you see an Eighties Leighdy, whether she’s in a full set of Lee press-ons and a pantsuit that tapers over a pair of Reeboks or sandblasted denim cutoffs, a Duran Duran concert T-shirt, and a pink fannie pack, don’t judge her as living in the past. See her as reveling in the best years of her life.
And maybe, just maybe… throw her up a real nice, powerful, hang ten. Show her you know she’s totally radical.
Note: It was not my intention to draw the Eighties Leighdy to look like Jay Leno.
Comments
31 responses to “Funny Human: The Eighties Leighdy”
I don't remember much of the 80s – it is a great big blur of alcohol and pot. Glad to hear it was such a great time! I am still sorry over that pair of shoes I lost one infamous night….
cooool! So excited about being able to reply directly to comments. Worrrrd.
Since I married in 1968 and had kids in the 70's I missed 80's altogether. My era was the 60's and I still love it today. Great story and I had no idea you were an illustrator as well. Love the drawings Laurenne.
This post had me dying. I wish I got to know the eighties like those leighdies.
Wait, so does this mean you wouldn't wear leggings? Because I saw some at American Apparel and thought of you for some reason.
Yes, American Apparel is contributing to this.
This Eighties Leighdy sat on top of a speaker at a Romantics concert. And had my long hair tangled up in a brawl between two drunks in a mosh pit during a Gang of Four show. Those were the days.
I guess I came of age during the 80's and even then could not wait for them to be over… we had a President with Cowboy delusions and the wprst Avatar of God complex ever in a leader of the free world…
Google – Young Boys Incorporated, and you will read about another factor that motivated me to leave my hometown…
I know I am being critical but the 80's is one era that was completely vapid and without a lot of social redeeming traits… you did not miss much, trust you me!!
Again, speaking my language. I miss LA because I miss 80's LA that I never lived in. I watch Less Than Zero and I'm like, "God, I miss those days" even though I never experienced them. I dream about 80's LA all the time.
Don't forget though, Wham! has an exclamation on the end of it. That's how excited they were all the time.
Aw man! I'm glad I'm not the only one who missed out on this decade. Although, according to Mark, it wasn't all that. I think I would have totally ignored the Cowboy president while partying with Wham! though.
Lauren, thanks for the exclamation tip! I had no idea Wham! had punctuation. I honestly didn't even know they existed until a Halloween party a few years ago. Eeeeek. I sometimes think I grew up in a cave.
i wish I still had my purple and pink Caboodles. argh, garage sales.
I had a purple Caboodle. I kept my Puffy Paint in it. You know, for painting puffily, '80s style.
Sooooo. That's NOT Jay Leno in drag?
I had a caboodle. And NEON LEG WARMERS! Or was that the 90s?
I wish I could have experienced more of the 80s, sounds like a stellar time.
You need more 80s rock in your life. It's the best.
Your beautiful word art makes me yearn for bang-y power centers! And your leighdy TOTALLY looks like Jay Leno, thanks for saying that because I was going to stare at her for hours trying to figure out who it was.
It's amazing how many people still have recollections of the 80s. Hello it was 30 years ago. I don't remember anything from 30 seconds ago. Wait, I blew my nose. So I remembered that.
The 90s were much better. We had that one band with the grunge. Zubaz. The constant rejections by women.
Actually let's never discuss this again.
Funny stuff!! Ha! There was a lady like this at my son's preschool (another mother). She had major wings & blue eyeliner. Spotted another one at Disney World. I stood behind her in line & took a picture of her bangs. I'll stay on the lookout!!
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