According to the Huffington Post, Maria Gomes Valentim is now the oldest person in the world, born in Brazil in 1896.
She says her secret to living 114 YEARS is that she eats a roll of bread every morning.
Yes, a roll.
I had the great luck of meeting the oldest woman on Utila island yesterday. She won’t tell me her age, but she is definitely the oldest because she has outlived every one of her friends. When asked for her secret to longevity, she says, “I poop every morning.”
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen: Eat a roll. Poop a roll. Live forever.
Comments
10 responses to “We’re gonna farty like it’s 1896.”
LOL. This made my morning.
Little Known Fact. The original title of that song “Tootsee Roll” was “Poop a Roll”. Didn’t make it past the sensors.
I’m gonna live twice as long as her.
I have an “Exit Interview with Mr. Brown” every morning.
And then at night , ” I Dump All My Shares of Hometown Buffet.”
Too funny!
I’m going to have “Eat a roll. Poop a roll. Live forever” tattooed in Sanskrit on my back… or I’ll make a pillow cover.
interesting. very, very interesting.
I believe it.
I’m definitely gonna live til tomorrow…phew!
I want my cats to live forever. They better like rolls.
lol
My new words to live by… Eat a Roll. Poop a Roll. Live Forever. Way better than Live Love Laugh or Eat Pray Love. Way better.