Author: laurenne

  • Excuse me, Mr. Monk… My butt is asleep.

    Luckies!

    I wrote up a whole big thing about how the Theravada Buddhism retreat truly awakened me, how I grew to understand and love the cement bed and wooden pillow, how I have now learned to be much more accepting of others (except, of course, those who wear Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts), and how I now completely grasp and follow Buddhism.

    But then I realized it sounded just like the pamphlet about Islam I received upon crossing the Malaysian border. So, I will refrain from subjecting anyone else to such a harrowing affair.

    Instead, since today lies somewhere between Mother’s and Father’s day, I will recount a story I heard from a nun at the retreat. Imagine this spilling from the lips of a very frail, gentle woman with short choppy hair, frameless spectacles, and funny English :

    In the seventies, Tom, now a monk, graduated high school in England and wanted to see the world. He left on foot, despite his mother’s protests, and headed East. He hitchhiked and found odd jobs and made it all the way to Iran. Unfortunately, he found himself without money, food, or work. For the first time, he was stuck. He went two days without food and began to worry. Forced to beg, he reluctantly set up on the street in the rain. After almost a third day without anything to eat, a Persian woman saw him and told him to follow her. Instead of fearing a boy twice her size, she brought him into her house and cooked him a hearty meal. Then, she found him some clothes to wear and washed the ones he was wearing. He offered to help her around the house, but she declined. She gave him leftovers and sent him on his way. Nobody saw her be kind to this stranger. She did it only because she thought it was the right thing to do.

    Of course, he was more than grateful. His heart swelled with love and an undying urge to repay this most generous woman. He sat for hours in shock at the sheer kindness he received, and since that day has never forgotten that woman.

    But then it hit him. She gave him one outfit and cooked him one meal.
    Her generosity seemed monumental. But in how many outfits have our parents clothed us? How many meals have they cooked for us? Their generosity spans our lifetimes, and we don’t see it so clearly because they never let us reach that dreadful point of desperation.

    I like that story.
    It made me feel horribly guilty for insisting the outfits my mother provided be of a specific brand. I believe I cried and moaned for Z. Cavariccis. And my mother, the provider that she was, took me to Gurnee Mills and found me an outlet pair!
    Thanks mom and dad!

  • Keeps you up all night.


    Oh no.
    We have all heard about colossal mistakes in choosing a product name. The Nova. This water in Cambodia. I have seen many during this trip. But I just let it go, not wanting to laugh in the face of innocent locals.

    But this is too much. I have just heard a radio commercial for an energy pill.
    The Cervix.

    No they didn’t.

  • Contest! Contest!

    The Malaysian flag is kinda close but not that close to the American flag because:

    A) Malaysians mastered copying in school where they had to change their answers a bit.

    B) In their version of rock-paper-scissors, a moon and a pointy star beat 50 regular stars.

    F) When they were making it, the only access to flags they had was from a box that someone was about to burn and they made do with what they had.

    Please send your answer ALONG WITH YOUR ADDRESS to salasala@gmail.com today! The winner will receive a prize directly from Malaysia. Perhaps even a Malaysian flag of his own!

  • and rats and pastries







    Bangkok was a blur of lights and taxis and tourists and dreadlocks and markets and street food and boats and rivers and trains and malls and more tourists and mangoes and fresh-squeezed orange juice and hawkers and lady boys and cafes and high rises and hookah pipes and backpackers and old men with acordions and rooftop swimming pools and wafts of garlic and tuk-tuks and beggars and traffic and temples and monks and offerings and palaces and swanky restaurants and desserts and riverside bars and conversation and old people and music and shouts and sweat and expats and crossword puzzles and ATMs and rain and cockroaches and government buildings and more traffic and more rain and more food. I loved it.

  • The Mekong is long.


    I’m talkin’ long. I wonder if there are record books and fame for the fish who have made it from one side to the other.

    She begins all the way up in Tibet. And flows in every which direction until she hits the sea after Vietnam. She’s murky and, at first, seemed to me rather unappealing. But then I bumped into her in the strangest of places. She was like that neighbor you avoid in the supermarket, popping up in the Vietnam aisle, the Cambodia aisle and even the Laos aisle. By the time I arrived in Thailand, I had grown to expect her. And even enjoy her company.

    After so much time with the Mekong, I realized how many people depend on her. She supports remote villages on her banks and floating within her. She is home to schools of dolphins. She is the manufacturer, highway and delivery truck for fish nets planted by men in sarongs. She is the deserted road leading to towns where the most wanted criminals can hide. She is the bath and shower for naked children, fully clothed adults, and naked water buffalo. Her banks have ignited the contemplation of many a sunset.

    Brown is the new blue.

    Naked kids screaming ‘Hellooooooo!’ in Cambodia.

    Growing up barefoot.

    Monks heading up the banks in Laos.

    My longboat that maneuvered through the pointy rocks of Laos.

    Door-to-door saleswomen.

    Hour 5 of the 10-hour journey through Cambodia.