Are people ‘these days’ crazier than people ‘back in the day?’ I hate to ask this because it makes me sound like a demure old woman who still wears red lipstick and pantyhose and shakes her head at the new loony generation. Demure I am not. Fuck. So I’ve been rationalizing, convincing myself that we have the same number of crazy people as we did back in the day and that the current rise in news coverage and media just makes it seem like nuts has become the norm. But lately I’ve been thinking that there are just a ton of whackos in the world. Let’s see…
First there’s this satan plane guy who threatened flight attendants with water. Bad plan, dude.
Then there are the people who concocted a plan to make schoolgirls sick. Really, imagine coming up with that around a conference table.
GUY 1 – Then all the girls will start feeling faint.
GUY 2 – I’m loving this idea.
GUY 1 – Maybe we could make them vomit all over themselves.
GUY 2 – They will NEVER go to school again.
GUY 1 – Muaahahhahaaaa.
GUY 2 – My beard itches.
And then, there’s this woman who ‘accidentally’ microwaved her baby.
Plus, ponder the existence of Kate Gosselin and Michael Jackson and people who get face lifts when they’re 90 and people who spend $300 on dog clothes and people who hang themselves on hooks for sexual pleasure. And there’s also that Austrian guy who kept his daughter in the basement and raped her all the time, the extremists who want to kill anyone who draws a picture of their god, the weather, reality shows about hair salons and choosing wedding dresses, Flava Flav, Pokemon, Scientology, Asian porn fetishes, politics, the Sky Mall, people whacking off to strangers on ChatRoulette, and now that double chicken sandwich from KFC.
So… I’m right, right? People these days are crazier. Or am I just nuts and people who get facelifts to look like a cat think that something is wrong with the world because of all those wacky bloggers who like to travel and make poo jokes? Either way, I’m assuming we’re all just going to get crazier as time goes on and technology gets weirder. We’ll all be spooning robots and wearing clothes made of hair any day now. Oh God! Help! Run for the hills!