Category: hmmm

  • Alllmost!

    My existential crisis is almost over. Allllmost. I can feel my questions coming to an end. Maybe. I still don’t know why I’m not a diving instructor in the Dominican Republic or a sherpa in Peru. Maybe because my ears can’t handle it. Maybe because I like sea level. Why am I in Venice? I don’t know. Why am I in my pajamas? I don’t know. But I’m getting closer to the answer. I’m happy to be doing this:

     

    Regular posts will resume next week. Unless I decide to become a Buddhist nun, which is on my list.

  • TTFN

    You know those times when you wonder what you’re doing with your life and decide to move to Alaska where you won’t know anyone and you want to change your name to Michelle or Maria or something that will blend in and then marry someone quickly and then have twenty babies one after the other and then spend nights watching reality shows about antiquing?

    That’s where I am right now. I’m thinking maybe Katie. Or Marie. Not sure, but nobody will be able to find me, and it will be marvelous.

    It’s just your everyday existential crisis. There’s a bunch of doubt and questions swimming in my brain and shitting on my every thought.

    So, I’m going to go away for a bit and figure out what’s up inside my cerebellum. Maybe it’s cobwebs. Maybe it’s a thought traffic jam. Maybe it’s too many yellow triangles. Or just the shedding of all the hard stuff so that 2012 can be fancy and free.

    I’m getting off Facebook and the internet and everything (Okay, maybe not Twitter. Who do you think I am?). It is an experiment to see what will happen without all this social shit crowding my thought synapses. The pressure of making my life sound great on Facebook is just too much. Not really.

    So, I’m off to go sweep out some spiderwebs (who really says ‘cobwebs?’). In private (WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO ME?!). In the meantime, if you have any suggestions on what YOU think I should do with my life, let me know. So far opening a dairy farm in Spain and opening a canoe rental place in Panama are the top two (opening a brothel in Afghanistan distant third).

    Smell ya later (virtually). Like in a week. How could I live up to my title WORLD’S BESTEST BLOGGER (self-titled) if I disappeared for more than a week?

     

  • 2011: a year of planking and dead people!

    Every single New Year’s Eve, I marvel at how a whole year has passed since the last one. Wasn’t it just 2010? Wasn’t it just 1990? Wasn’t I JUST praying for it to be 2001 so I could have a valid ID and not have to pretend I’m some 40-year-old Mexican lady to get into dance clubs? Wasn’t I just deciding on the perfect dress to wear to the Y2K celebration in case I died in a midnight Earth implosion? Wasn’t I just getting fake drunk on the virgin margaritas my mom served to all my friends in fifth grade?

    Oh, how time passes.
    Sigh.
    This year I have no plans for dresses or virgin cocktails. I have no plans at all. I could spend the Eve crashing parties or crying myself to sleep. Haven’t decided. The night is my oyster. Either way, I will be celebrating the enormity of 2011.

    2011 was full of stuff. My friend, Rick, caps it off well with the best year-end review I’ve ever seen on Vice Magazine.  There was planking. Gay marriage in NYC. A whole bunch of murders and springing Arabs all over the Middle East. Japan exploded. Our country was captivated by Casey Anthony and the Kardashians. Many people foreclosed. David Duerson proved that brains can suffer. Joe Bodolai published a riveting suicide note.  I talked about suicide on stages all over LA.  Shit, this year sounds depressing. Good things happened! Thousands of blackbirds fell from the sky. Shit! Great things happened, I swear. We banded together to occupy things, standing up to our government! Yeah! We’re going to incite government change any day now. Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head (depressing), but survived (yay!), confirming my stance on gun control. Fuck guns and Walmart (except when I need some cheap dish sponges). People went crazy because Steve Jobs died. I know he was smart and all, but people went really crazy. (spoiler alert: we’re all gonna die.) Elizabeth Taylor died too. We celebrated the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Lots of deaths, but great news too! I swear. Like… politics got really funny. Muslims protected Christians in Egypt. Humanity helped each other out in unexpected ways. Harry Potter ended. NASA discovered a new planet! And I shall mention it again: Gay Marriage in NYC!

    In my personal year, my friend and mentor Mike DeStefano died (Shit. More deaths.). I spent a month in Honduras writing a book on suicide and falling in love with Spaniards. I studied my brain in a school for brain study. I scored a new column on KCET and today I am on Tiny Buddha! I shot a video for Funny or Die! I’m in the middle of trapeze school and considering running away to be in the circus. For real. (anything to get away from cubicles). Most of all, I’ve learned to really enjoy myself and have more fun. I learned how to fall in love with people and life. I am slowly learning that I am enough just how I am. I am learning what really matters in my life (not money!). All this makes 2011 my best year yet. Despite all those deaths.

    Love to all y’all in the new year and beyond. And all those past years too. Weren’t they JUST yesterday?

  • For Sale: 3-bedroom house. Close to great schools and racists!

    Last year I wrote about my home-selling heartbreak. The house where I formed into being was going on the market. I found it painful to say goodbye to the tree that was planted on the day I was born and the street I can feel with my eyes closed in the backseat of my mom’s car. Selling that house felt like giving up my childhood. As an only child, it’s that house that will share my memories as I get older. Nobody else knows about my hiding spots and the treasures I have thrown dropped down the heating vents (Those were only child experiments. I also was positive there was buried treasure in the couch cushions so I cut them open and sewed them back again, thinking my mom would never notice. She did.)

     Saying goodbye to that house would be like saying goodbye to a parent, a grandma, a best friend, a leg. Still, my mom wanted to retire, hang out with other hip senior citizens, and maybe drive a golf cart in Arizona. I couldn’t blame her. Golf carts are pretty zippy.

    We met with a real estate agent, and as fast as a Rascal scooter, we had a fake bed in the spare room and a ‘For Sale’ sign in the yard. I shed a few tears. I was officially bidding adieu to my childhood home. Heart. Breaking.

    And then I went to a bar down the street from that house and heard a few guys use the N word and light firecrackers inside. Then another told me how sorry he was for me because I wasn’t fully Italian. That’s my town, a Midwest Jersey Shore. (note: if you’re in the Chicagoland area and looking for a tanning bed, please visit Addison IL. We also have a bowling alley and shootings!).

    The encounter with the judgey Italian made me feel slightly better about leaving my town for good. Then with each open house, I felt more and more closure. I could always come back and revisit my nooks, my heating vent treasures, the window where the birds make their yearly nest, and the old treehouse I made out of tires and plywood.

    You know that financial/mortgage/lending crisis that seemed to affect everyone? I heard about it. I’ll admit that it hadn’t affected me much. I live on Venice Beach, right in the center of a touristy commercial hub. There are plenty of jobs in LA. I don’t own a home to lose. This lending crisis thing did not seem like a big deal. That sounds pretty ignorant, but don’t worry: there is some learning on the horizon.

    A few years ago, our house was worth about $250,000 (Hey, Mom! I’m writing about our personal finances! You look sleepy. You should go now.). That was before the guy on our street killed his mother and a hooker (long story) and the dad two streets away killed his wife and kids on Thanksgiving (not really a long story). Not that those things ruin property values, but maybe they do ruin property values. They definitely make me proud to be from Addison, IL, home of weird murders (Remind me to tell you about the guy who killed a woman but cut open her belly to steal her unborn kid.).

    Our real estate agent wouldn’t put our house on the market for anything more than $180,000. My mom almost had a heart attack, but we went with it. Anything to get closer to that golf cart.

    During my last visit, as I took a walk around our neighborhood and counted the plastic ducks dressed in clothing (there is a surprising plethora), I noticed several vacant, boarded-up houses. There is a surprising plethora. People have left our neighborhood. Fled. Some streets look scary and war-trodden.

    Those people probably got ARM loans and couldn’t pay. They should have invested in clothing for ducks, but they didn’t. They lost their homes. Those homes are on sale by the banks. Those homes are going for $60,000. Who would pay full-price for our house when they could get one for the price of a BMW?

    After six months on the market, we took our house off. No more nice weather on the horizon for my mom. Instead of a golf cart, she’ll have to rider her Pontiac through a town where people feel bad for her ethnicity (She’s ONLY half Italian! Gasp!).

    I was originally sad to say goodbye, but now my heart beats even more angst. My mom moved to the suburbs years ago so I could have a ‘normal’ childhood (if spending your childhood in tanning beds is normal). I want her to go have her zippy life full of senior activities in the sun.

    Now that it’s no longer a possibility, I am absolutely okay with never seeing my tree again. Bye.

    I recently heard a piece on the radio about how the mortgage crisis is the fault of all the house-flippers because they got shitty loans thinking they’d resell quickly. It won’t help to blame any group or the government or the banks. I want to, but it won’t help. Instead, I will say that this economy does affect everyone! And it stinks. And my mom deserves her golf cart!

    If you know of anyone who would love to pay full price for a house in an area where weird murders are abundant and there are parks and racists, please give me a call. I can tell you it will be worth it. There are great schools in the area. There is a movie theater. There is one bar. And it’s just a 20-minute drive into Chicago. Plus, there is a tree here that shares my birthday. And…  treasures await you in the heating vents (at least one Barbie.). Call while supplies last!

  • Yeah, eight dollars.

    This week was weird. I have since been fired from the cubicle I so feared last week. It wasn’t because I said derogatory things about said cubicle. It was simply because I am a freelancer and they didn’t need me anymore. That’s also what they said that one time I got fired on the spot my first day. I think they thought that hiring a female copywriter would mean I would be fashionable. So, they hired me to work on a stylish shoe campaign. And then I showed up wearing a sweatshirt and fake Toms from Payless. Whoops. For me that was ‘dressing up,’ as I usually wear my pajamas.

    “Um, yeah, ummm… actually, we just talked to our finance guy, and we, um, actually can’t afford you. Sorry for making you, ummm, come all the way here.”

    Then Tuesday I heard from an agent. An agent who sells books. She has been ‘reading’ my ‘book’ for two months. She told me it would take two weeks. As the days on my desktop Dilbert calendar ticked away, I figured she had accidentally sold it to a big publisher and would soon be sending me an advance check. Nope. She just wrote back and graciously included a link to a website with tips on how to write a story. Yep. Thanks.

    But the most interesting part of the week was today. I paid $8 for a juice. Not a gallon of juice that you would find in a store. Nope. A jar of juice. One serving. The label got to me. It said, ‘Look how healthy I am. You are not. You have had Taco Bell in the recent past. You need to drink healthy juices and eat organic rice cakes.’

    What’s that you say? You say that an $8 juice isn’t interesting. Well, how about this:
    I have been using this organic lotion on my face. It is light and smells like vegetables. It was not $8, but a free sample. Each morning, I commented out loud to myself about how light it is. I finally looked at the label to find out where to buy it, and the label said, ‘Apply to towel-dried hair and leave in.’

    Labels are jerks.

    I sat there laughing to myself and fearing for my skin. I really wanted to tell someone about it, and when I finally did, they didn’t think it was that interesting. So I wrote it here! You’re welcome.

    I have been using conditioner on my face. And because it had a fancy name with an accent in it, I totally thought it was something really good that would take my wrinkles right off. It’s kind of the same thing as the juice. That juice was gross, by the way. Don’t put cucumbers in juice. It’s not becoming. The lesson here: don’t be gullible.

    These things still aren’t interesting, are they? SHIT! Do not not worry. I am now equipped with a link that will totally help me write a story, so I’m good.

    Next week, just wait! There will be some REALLY great interesting stories RIGHT HERE.
    In the meantime, I have to go to this meeting about timeshares. The ad said it would be really fun and good for you.