October 14, 2010

Funny Human of the Week – The Ghayter

Number two in the Funny Human Visual Series is The Ghayter (gay hater).

Ghayting is quite a topic as of late. Society is up in arms because of some recent gay bashing as if it’s a new thing. I’m overjoyed it’s now in the media and that people care.

But guys, seriously, where ya been?

I took a quick gander through Google to find a good gay-bashing case to reference here, and there were simply too many from which to choose. In fact, as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve been reading news stories about ghayters. They’ve bashed in the car windows of those bearing rainbow flags. They’ve bashed in the faces of those bearing leather chaps. And then there was my ghayter godfather, who was nothing like a god or a father because he never talked to me again once my pops came out of the armoire.

Ghayters are everywhere. And they are plenty. And I’m happy that we’re now collectively talking about how despicable they are. Not that a video from Ellen would make a ghayter stop ghayting. I doubt any one of them has seen it and said, “Oh, that lesbian is actually cool. I’m going to stop throwing bricks through that faggot’s window.” The truth is that a lot of ghayters are just too far gone to listen to our arguments or care that they’re hurting people. Their bodies are too filled with hate to notice. Ghayters are haters from the core, so they also hate Muslims and liberals and people on bluetooths (ok, in some cases, the hate is justified).

The good news is there’s a funny side to all this hatred. Okay, perhaps not funny. Maybe karmically ironic, which always leads to funny.

Regular haters and ghayters alike wake up each morning and drink a cup full of hatred before their coffees. Instead of sharing meaningful conversation with loved ones, they spend time making signs to carry on the sidelines of gay parades that say things like ‘God Hates Fags.’ Instead of taking their kids to the park, they make them wear tiny little Klan outfits and surely cause them future psychological issues. Instead of creating a loving family atmosphere, they spend their energy alerting the media about their plans to burn the Quran. And all this time, they’re full of hate hate hate, basking in negativity.

In truth, their lives are very sad.

There will always be gays or groups who are different. We can choose to see that as beautiful or we can choose to see that as horrible. It’s our choice. But if we choose the latter, we’re choosing a life in the negative. A sad, negative life full of hatred of everything including the Self.

Jokes on you, bitches.
Have a negative life while we go party it up in our rainbow flag underwear. Suckas.

note: I copied this ghayting sign from an actual protester [HERE]. Also, I used Rush Limbaugh’s face for reference.

{ 27 comments }

linda October 14, 2010 at 7:58 am

this is awesome. sharing.

The Incredible Woody October 14, 2010 at 8:00 am

I think a lot of ghayters are in the closet. By the light of their computer monitors, they surf gay porn. And are afraid to admit it in the light of day. Such sad, miserable lives.

Rahul October 14, 2010 at 8:01 am

Well said, but not going to lie, that funny human kind of looks like my dad. Wait is my dad a Ghayter? Is he…Rush Limbaugh?!?!

Ghayters favorite drink?

Haterade.

Favorite food?

Hater tots

Favorite Saved By The Bell Character?

A.C. Hater

Hollye Dexter October 14, 2010 at 9:16 am

So true my dear. So true. And yes, we who have gay people in our families have been aware of it for a looong time but thank God the world is sitting up and taking notice.
We are the happier ones, and the better dressed and better decorated. My God- have you ever seen my brother wrap a present? It's almost a miracle.
Gotta go put on my rainbow happy underwear now….
Love, love, love…

laurenne October 14, 2010 at 9:39 am

Agree, Woody! Absolutely agree.

Rahul! You crack me up so much. AC HATER! Ahahaha.

Cata October 14, 2010 at 9:44 am

Sooooo true. They are their own instant punishment.

Love your blog, such a wonderful thing to wake up to on a Thursday!

Love in the Dumps October 14, 2010 at 12:00 pm

what about people who hate people they think are gay but are really straight (ie me)

alonewithcats October 14, 2010 at 1:48 pm

I was just thinking about how almost everything is cuter when its smaller. Like, you know, kittens and baby shoes and mini liquor bottles. Exception: Kids dressed in KKK sheets. Still not cute. Those ghayters really just fail all around.

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Jo October 14, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I just don't get it. Why go to all that effort to hate? It is *truly* baffling. I think you're right – they're ignorant and don't know anything other than hating.

A.C. Hater… LOVE IT!

Big Mark 243 October 14, 2010 at 6:28 pm

This is a great post. While there are some people who are misguided (they believe in what dime-store wizards and drunk magicians tell them on sunday), many more of the ghayters are cauldrons of self loathing that who knows where there hatred comes from.

Looking back on children trying to deal with the interesting concept of sexuality, it isn't until someone either tells them or shows them what kind of roles are available. Confused children who comes from crap homes get to unleash all that confusion on kids who gravitate seamlessly to who and what they are supposed to be.

That is what I always thought regarding my darling brother. He always knew who he was and it never bothered him. Those that it really bothered, the ghayters, had demons of their own that moved them.

It is not that surprising that there are scandals regarding sexual abuses in the clergy… so much repression is involved with such things as a matter of course. Anyway… starting to 'stress stray'… another well written post.

Are you a journalist?

Jo October 15, 2010 at 11:33 am

Ooooh – you've probably already seen this, but it has only just made its way onto my radar: http://fckh8.com/

Brooke Farmer October 21, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Awesome article. Also, great point about how hate affects the lives of those who possess it in such great quantities. You can expand that argument to how a person views anything, really, and easily determine how happy (or miserable) they tend to be.

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