I’m really popular in Asia.

I met Carmen from Madrid in Hanoi, and we sampled Vietnam’s exotic fruits and strong coffee. Then I met a local friend, Hien, and she bought me a cone of Hanoi’s speciality ice cream from a place the tourists have not yet found. The next morning, I got on a boat and met a middle-aged pair from France, a Canadian-born Vietnamese couple, and an art director from London. Oh, and a girl from Michigan with her boyfriend from Cairns. We visited a sacred pagoda and held each other up under the massive local crowds swarming the place for good luck. On another boat the following day, I met Lee from Australia, Amelie from Paris, Michael from Germany, Guy and Henry from London, a dude from Croatia, and two wonky Irishmen who had recently been shot in Nigeria. We sailed through karsts and met 4 blondes and a guy from Holland and three barely-clothed Australian chicks. We all went dancing together. The next day, we went for a hungover hike and met a chica from Spain and a guy who couldn’t really say where he was from since he‘d moved so many times. Michael, the German, and I decided to travel together when we met a hilarious Greek couple. We spent a few nights zipping around on motorbikes and getting lost with the Greeks. But the three of them moved on while I stayed in Hue and met Tinh, a Vietnamese Buddhist who took me to meet some monks. The next day, I met up with Sarah from New Hampshire (who I knew from Los Angeles), Heidi from South Africa, one chick from Australia and another from Holland. We went out for dinner and met a pair of Canadians and a cute Japanese girl from Seattle. The next night, we found ourselves dancing under the stars with a Chilean drunk, a San Franciscan restauranteur, and a litter of Frenchies. I headed back to the monks and met Chetan from India who just moved to Hue from Singapore and is paying $30/month in rent! I finally arranged to be alone for a night when I met Ronny, an Indian living in Los Angeles. We had lunch, and he ordered me to eat the plate’s garnish because children are starving in Africa. I immediately hopped on a bus to Nha Trang, where I was suddenly roommates with 3 Swedes in a hostel owned by a swarmy alcoholic in a bad suit. We dined all together along with two English lassies and a blonde from Texas who lives in NY. The next day, one Swede and I boarded a boat and met a pair of Belgians, a Japanese comedian, a gaggle from Singapore, and an Australian who had just eaten an entire cobra, including its heart. Back in the hostel, I met Kim from Jersey, and we left together on a bus bound for the mountain. In the rain, we found a hotel room, a life coach from the Netherlands, and a German fitness model. The four of us together abseiled a 25-meter waterfall with 3 Vietnamese locals. Jersey Kim, who lives in Santa Monica, and I left the next day with a Heath Ledger look-a-like from Tasmania to go bicycling through the mountains. Finally, I landed in Saigon and have just locked myself in a room alone. It’s weird. I want to get some food, but I fear the moment I step outside I will make another friend. I’m ordering delivery.

French boys! Ooh la la.

With just a rough map, we found our way to these hidden tunnels, where 60 families hid during what the government calls the ‘American War’ (even though it was the civil war, but we’ll get into that later.).

Hiking in the clouds.

It feels like I learn a new drinking game every night.

This is the art director from London. It only rained on us, proving that God hates advertising.

My first friend in Vietnam, Carmen. Hi Carmen!