March 19, 2010

My phone said I should buy tampons.


I plan on being the coolest old lady. The kind who says ‘phooey’ and pinches boys’ butts and reads books. That’s right, I am going to read books made of paper until my life ends no matter how much technology tries to oust them from our lives. I hate and fear the hi-tech future of video chatting and emailing and Kindling. That’s why I’ve been using a small Nokia phone from 1998. But yesterday, on a whim, I fell to the dark side. I bought an iPhone. I couldn’t help myself. I swear. And now I have this thing that I’m scared of losing, and my fingers have so much more to do each day. I don’t want to be constantly tied to technology. I don’t want to be that girl who has to ‘check my phone’ every two minutes. BUT… them apps is mad cool. I downloaded four already, my favorite being the menstrual calendar. My phone is going to tell me when I’m menstruating. This makes my world seem wrong, but I don’t want to be right. For 19 years, I’ve been feeling cranky and randomly crying and wondering ‘why oh why.’ And every time it’s a surprise when the day arrives. But now MY PHONE is going to tell me that I’m feeling cranky and crying at Hallmark commercials because the day is about to arrive! And HOLY SHIT did I just say that I’ve been menstruating for 19 years? I am so fucking old. Wait, I’m not old. I’m just a woman. I am a woman with ovaries that are now in cahoots with a phone. Let freedom ring. When it’s that time.

{ 18 comments }

hupajoob March 19, 2010 at 10:33 am

Can you actually call me on that conch shell?! Holy shit, thats amazing.

karina March 19, 2010 at 10:54 am

just had the book vs kindle argument the other day… i mean… really??! is it necessary? i don't understand it… i don't think i ever will… i'm with you… i will read books made of paper until the day i die.

lups March 19, 2010 at 11:51 am

ey lore me encanto tu posteo! jajaa me hizo reir, y estoy totalmente d acuerdo con todo lo q dice.. 100%

A Tale of Midge March 19, 2010 at 1:04 pm

I'm all about the technology! I'm on Team Kindle! It's not just about technology-we are saving trees! So put that in your ipod and smoke it!

laurenne March 20, 2010 at 2:52 pm

hupajoob: I wouldn't recommend conch shell phones. Horrible reception and your friends always sound like they're in the ocean. (sorry. had to.)

Karina y lups: hiiii! hola chiquitas! gracias por apoyarme. Joder, el miedo que el futuro me da! pues.. solo la parte de la technologia. todo lo demas me fascina. No puedo esperar por ver las caras suyas de nuevo!! Karina… vamos a Buenos Aires!
besos!

Midge: whatever! trees were made to make books. with pages. that you can fold and highlight and smell and cover with paper bags and put on shelves. Long Live BOOKS.

Marcel March 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Is there an app like this for men?

laurenne March 22, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Marcel, I think you're on to something. Invent it. Get rich. Move somewhere exotic like Australia.

Marcel March 23, 2010 at 5:47 am

I don't like where this conversation is going. I'm ending it right now. Period.

Faustino Cumberbatch April 17, 2011 at 12:58 am

I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re wonderful! Thanks!

free website April 17, 2011 at 1:09 am

Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!

Free Xbox 360 April 17, 2011 at 4:11 am

Hello! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My website looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to correct this problem. If you have any recommendations, please share. Thank you!

Sonia Krawitz April 17, 2011 at 5:39 am

I’ve not too long ago started a blog, the information you provide on this website has helped me tremendously. Thanks for your whole time & work.

Margarito Crain April 17, 2011 at 11:06 am

Hello clever points.. now why didn’t i think of these? Off topic barely, is that this web page sample merely from an extraordinary installation or else do you use a personalized template. I use a webpage i’m in search of to enhance and properly the visuals is probably going one of the key issues to complete on my list.

Hipolito M. Wiseman April 18, 2011 at 8:42 am

Have you ever considered publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog centered on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my subscribers would value your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.

Wilson Soman April 18, 2011 at 1:35 pm

This domain appears to recieve a great deal of visitors. How do you get traffic to it? It offers a nice individual twist on things. I guess having something authentic or substantial to post about is the most important factor.

paradise Poker Bonus without depositeposit reload April 18, 2011 at 2:10 pm

What i don’t understood is actually how you are not actually much more well-liked than you may be right now. You are very intelligent. You realize thus considerably relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from numerous varied angles. Its like men and women aren’t fascinated unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. Always maintain it up!

London Hotels April 25, 2011 at 12:30 am

As far as me being a member here, I wasn’t aware that I was a member for any days, actually. When the article was published I received a notification, so that I could participate in the discussion of the post, That would explain me stumbuling upon this post. But we’re certainly all members in the world of ideas.

Boston mold testing April 25, 2011 at 4:13 am

Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very useful information specially the last part :) I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this certain information for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: