May 24, 2010

Animals are funny too.

I went to the zoo!
Is it weird that I just want to be tickled by an elephant’s trunk? Next birthday, I would please like one elephant tickling. Unless this is a weird fetish I haven’t heard of and it requires I wear crotchless panties and mauve body paint. Then forget it.

Elephant butts are funny too. This guy has a spot of poo on his butt. He doesn’t seem to care. I want to be just like elephants. You can learn a lot from their nonchalance.

Haha! Turtles are such exhibitionists. Hey wait… do you smell something? Oh, that’s poo on my butt. Being just like elephants is not working out.

I learned that gibbons and cranes are monogamous. This made me wonder if gibbons and cranes also argue over when to have sex and complain about their in-laws.

Aw shit. Glen wants to have sex. What should I tell him? Shitshitshit. Um… Glen, I ‘ve got too much on my mind…and I’m not feeling sexy at all…didn’t shave.

If Leonard’s mother comments on my feathers one more time, I’m walking out.
(alt: I’m flying out. Not sure if cranes fly. I should look that up.)

I wish we all had skin like giraffes so that nobody would be either black or white. But then we’d all be the same, so that would be boring. Forget I said anything.

{ 9 comments }

Megan (Best of Fates) May 25, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Are you ready for a stupid, boring, trivial fact like comment? So, in fact, gibbons and cranes are not monogamous in the sense that we usually take that to mean. They do have one mate that they spend their lives with and raise a family with, but extensive DNA testing shows that both sexes "cheat" extensively and often the children they raise do not belong to both partners.

Guess you know where to go to get your gibbon sex knowledge from now on.

But you know, in a non-sketchy way.

laurenne May 25, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Megan, I am so impressed with your gibbon/crane knowledge.

So, what you're saying is that even monogamous animals aren't able to be monogamous? Is anyone in the whole world able to not cheat? Man, this is depressing. I thought animals were funny.

Kelley May 28, 2010 at 10:25 pm

I'm so laughing out loud at Leonard's wife and her anger towards her mother-in-law! Hahahaha!! I LOVE to give animals and inanimate objects thoughts & feelings, too! Love it. -Kelley @www.kelleysbreakroom.blogspot.com

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