September 5, 2010

Wait. Is today meant for celebrating our jobs or our birth canals?


I ran along Venice beach this evening, a beautiful sunset in the distance. Unfortunately, this photo doesn’t capture the several transvestite hookers I saw. There were also some vagabonds and rowdy frat guys and shocked tourists, the very reason I love Venice so much. One tranny hooker was messed up. Really messed up. I’m talkin’ ripped-clothes-and-falling-all-over-shimself messed up. I could have stopped to help shim. But, as my mom always said, ‘You can’t go helping every tranny hooker each time you go running.’

Here’s to Labor Day. I hope your holiday is filled with lots of palm trees and sunsets and plenty of tranny hookers who don’t really need your help because they kinda like being that messed up anyway.

Love Always,
Laurenne

{ 21 comments }

this free bird September 5, 2010 at 11:29 pm

plz tell me you saw the guy in the denim skirt and the white tank top wearing one red and white striped sock in a pink sequined platform maryjane shoe, while the other foot only had on a matching sock.

that very same man somersaulted into down the sidewalk and into a brick wall on the boardwalk while my canadian mother scampered along snapping pictures of him while i tried to secure a helmet on her so she wouldn't get whacked.

i love venice!!

xoxo,
carrie

laurenne September 5, 2010 at 11:54 pm

Oh lordy! I did not see the pink sequined maryjane shoe guy, BUT today I saw a man wearing red leggings, a red Christmas sweater, and a pile of shreddings from someone's office shredder on his head!
And he was dancing to only the music in his head.

I love Canadians!

Rahul September 6, 2010 at 3:51 pm

How did you know it was a tranny hooker?

Your keen eye and attention to detail always impresses me, my friend.

Monica Prelle September 6, 2010 at 5:16 pm

Mambert always has the best advice!

Kelley September 6, 2010 at 7:23 pm

This cracked me up! I've never heard "shimself" and absolutely loved hearing it for the first time right here on your bliz-og. And, yes, listen to your mother about those tranny hookers. Mothers always know best when it comes to tranny hookers. I wanted to let you know that I'm playing "Captcha Balderdash" right now. I'd LOVE, LOVE, LOVE for you to toss in your funniness! I may make this CB a monthly thing…or not. We'll see.

laurenne September 6, 2010 at 11:00 pm

Rahul… the ones in Venice aren't really shy about their penises. Penii?

kyknoord September 7, 2010 at 9:43 am

Yoda has nothing on your mom.

Hipstercrite September 7, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Hanging out in Venice is one of the things I miss most. I can't count on my fingers how many times I was offered drugs, hung out with homeless people, had "psychics" tell me I was dying, etc. God, I miss it.

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