Category: China

  • The red fern grew in Japan, which is not really in China.

    When I arrived home from my around-the-world adventure last year, I felt like I knew what to do with my life. I’d been ashamed in Cambodia that I knew little about the holocaust there even though it happened in my very lifetime. Assuming other Americans my age were in a similar boat, I felt like my life’s purpose should be to write, the goal being to use humor to tell the world about the world.

    And then I started writing about Snooki and poo instead.

    But I am again renewed in my passion after seeing this gem from Lamebook:

    I’d like to first comment about how someone put a lot of time and thought into a Facebook app that tells you what kind of Asian you are. Umm…. actually, I’d like to not comment because I immediately imagine it asks racist questions like, ‘Do your parents own a convenience store, nail salon, or nothing because the Communist government won’t let them?’ Sorry. I know. Horrible. But, come on! What kind of app is that?

    Anyway, the more pressing issue is the chick who thinks that Japanese people are from China.
    The world needs help, my friends. Lots of help.

    But based on this guy’s Facebook profile,

    it seems that those who don’t read are kind of proud of it. If the only book I’d ever read was on the required list in junior high, I probably wouldn’t tell anybody. (But I’d also give books another chance. I mean… Where the Red Fern Grows? The only book? I can see why you may have been turned off, my friend, but at least try another. Read Maus if you have to. Geesh. [that’s a comic book- get it?])

    Now I’ve concluded that if I try to write more about the world, the people who need to read it won’t. Therefore, back to Snooki. I kind of miss her these days. And, OMG, let’s all plan a trip to China for sushi and kimonos.

  • Welcome to my Blaaaahg

    I am starting a blog. A blaaaaahg. I’ve always had an itch to start one, but I never could find a reason to. I mean, who is really going to care what I have to say besides my mom, Mambert? She will show up often around here because she lends herself well to the idea that humans are funny. (By the way, she got a heck of a deal on dishrags at Aldi’s last week. She called and told me.)

    So here it is. A blog. My blog. In which I will shed light on the human plight. We are hilarious without even trying. We all think we’re so smart but then go and make big mistakes. Like China, for example. Even before the Olympic debacle, China invented a policy that made families want to only produce baby boys. Not only did this lead to baby deaths (and lots of unwarranted stretchmarks), it created a country with a huge population problem. China is scratching their head and saying, “Well, gee. There aren’t enough women to mate with the men.” Duh! They all died prematurely.

    See! Humans are funny and weird. And crazy. And self-absorbed. And sometimes smelly. And sometimes really stupid. But that’s just how we roll.
    Welcome to my blog.