I can’t get myself to delete this blog. It’s been two full years since I decided to keep my vagina stories and existential crises private, yet I keep renewing this domain every time it comes due. Humans were funny and still are, so humansarefunny.com must remain.
Plus, this tiny website was my sanctuary for years. I would come here to think, to process everything, to release my inner stories onto the page and feel better. I love it. I owe it. I learned how to write on this small piece of the internet! I can’t quit it.
If you’re still reading this, hi! I miss you. We might have met right here, and for that I am grateful. I made some sweet friends from this blog, friends who taught me that “Me too” and “I get you” are sometimes all you need.
In the past two years, I’ve done some things. I rode my bicycle 3000 miles through Eastern Europe. I got engaged (ahhhhhh!!!). I’ve maintained a healthy relationship (this actually happened before the engagement, and I still can’t really believe it). I cut open a human cadaver. I started speaking at colleges about vulnerability! And… I got a book deal! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I mean, all these things are exciting, but the book deal is something I’ve dreamed of since I was a kid. More than getting married! My Barbies always got married, got divorced, got book deals. Why? I love writing. I think stories are the most important ways for us to connect. And now I will get to connect with lots of kids (and their Barbies) to let them know how special they are. I couldn’t be more excited!!!
The book is a picture book for kids four to eight. I don’t know why they put ages on picture books because I have recently been hiding in libraries and gobbling up as many kids’ books as I can. I’m 35. Some are so good I want to tattoo them all over my butt. My picture book is called You Made Me a Mother. It began as a video I wrote for a client. And then Harper Collins CALLED ME when they saw it go viral. I have sent out over 60 queries and been rejected by agents the world over, yet Harper Collins called ME! hahahaha. I made sure to copy a few of the agents who rejected me when I sent out the email announcing the book. So the book is on pre-sale! You can buy it anywhere! It’s on Amazon and on Barnes and Noble, and I just got the very first one hot off the press in the mail. Of course I cried. It’s so cool to see something I loved writing in a form that others can read and love for years to come. Eeeeee!
2016 is a year for new things. I’ll be launching my book. I’ll be getting married. These are two huge things I know nothing about. These are two big firsts of hopefully many. (Maybe I’ll only get married once.) My goal is to truly enjoy the process and the newness of it all. I hope to only scream “AHHHHHH WHAT AM I DOING?” a handful of times. Most of all, I hope to have fun through it all. There will be a book launch and some parties and lots of times where I’ll be the center of attention. That makes me want to crawl into bed for years because I so love to hide behind this screen and live in my brain and my fingertips and words. It’ll be so weird and also exhilarating and fun and full of friends and love and NEW! I’ll try not to grind my teeth off. I hope to see you there. I owe you for being with me when I was blogging about a penny falling out of my innards while in the shower. I definitely owe you.
YAY! To 2016 and new things!