July 27, 2011

I can unbend you, Bender.

My problems with men started in 1985. I was five. I watched The Breakfast Club, and there was Judd Nelson. He was tough, misunderstood, rough around the edges. And there I was, in my Strawberry Shortcake pajamas: innocent, blonde, with chocolate on my face. I wanted him.

Because I was sure I could change him.

Yes. Even at five, I was sure I would be able to help/fix/change any boyfriend.
Even when my pajamas had feet in them, I just knew that my idea of who someone should be was obviously so much better than who they actually were. Ha! It would be cute except it’s not.

The point is, I wanted Judd Nelson. I wanted to bring him home to play Barbies (if you know what I mean), be my husband, and perhaps help me with my lemonade stand on weekends (we’d make it a family business). I would teach him that he didn’t have to be so judgmental and harsh and mean to others, and we would get on famously. He wouldn’t even remember Molly Ringwald. She wore pearls. Gross.

And then I grew up and started wearing bras. And Judd Nelson went on and did whatever he did. My dream of taming that particular badass fluttered away as I transferred it to several other boyfriends.

And then there was a Taboo Tales show this past week (You GOTTA read this review!! EEEeee!!). And Judd Nelson himself sat down next to me. WHAT?! I mean, WHAT?! I no longer felt the urge to play Barbies with him (if you know what I mean), but there he was in all his badass glory, wearing the signature blazer of the eighties with long tails and rolled up sleeves. He came to watch MY show. I had seen him in HIS show in 1985, and there he was driving around LA to come and see MY show! WHAT!!!? When I watched The Breakfast Club, I only had to grab the Beta tape from Ken’s World of Video. I win!

JUDD NELSON came to my show.

AND THEN… After the show, he came to talk directly to me.
He walked straight up to me and said, “I read your blog. I really enjoyed the piece about your mom on Father’s Day.”
I barely avoided hyperventilating and butt sweat.
WHAT?!
Okay, I know celebrities are just people and that Judd Nelson is not any better than I am because he made a John Hughes movie twenty-six years ago or because he knows Emilio Estevez or because he has an eighties blazer. I’m more interested in the fact that I fantasized about him so long ago. And there he was jumping into my life. I hesitate to say I have arrived because Judd Nelson reads my blog. It’s just that I can’t get over how life can change. One day we’re in Strawberry Shortcake pajamas, and in an instant, we’re hobnobbing in Hollywood. One day we’re homeless, and the next we’re famous for having a golden voice. One day we’re cleaning toilets and the next we’re cleaning windows. Okay, that last one was a horrible example. But you get what I mean: Life is crazily unpredictable. And that’s the best part about it.

The message here is that you never know. And life can change. So if you’re feeling despair, just remember that your time is coming. You could soon be praised by an eighties star as well. I heard Pauly Shore is looking for blogs to read.

{ 16 comments }

madgew July 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

As always a delight to read Laurenne.. I, of course, didn’t even see him but I assume he really was there and this is not some fantasy of yours. Love you Laurenne.

girluntitled July 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

you’ve made a believer outta me!! TOO COOL.

Rahul July 27, 2011 at 10:09 am

Meredith Baxter (nee Birney, always wanted to write the “nee”) feels really left out right about now.

Mary July 27, 2011 at 10:42 am

“One of the best shows in Los Angeles”!!! That review was awesome. Congrats Laurenne!

Nicole July 27, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Congratulations Laurenne! How impressive. A fantastic show with great reviews, and Meredith Baxter AND Judd Nelson? Shut up wit ch-your bad self! I can only express how awesome you are with a simple fist pump just like my hero Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club. Does anyone else remember Judd Nelson was in New Jack City? I do. Ha ha ha, drugs and violence. Rock a bye baby!

Mark July 27, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Awesome review! I am proud of you but not in a parental way but in the way that you are when someone you admire is out in the world and making their life happen!!

I don’t know which road leads from Omaha to Los Angeles, but it won’t be long before I am on it and maybe making my hopes and dreams happen like you are in the process of making yours come true! Congratulations!!

mambert July 27, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Who let you watch “Breakfast Club” at age 5?? It’s R rated and I had to get super, double supreme permission to show it to my 8th graders—who all identified with Bender, by the way.

Miss Ash Tuesday July 27, 2011 at 7:18 pm

OMG, Hi Judd!!!

*chuckle*

That is super way cool.

Jo July 28, 2011 at 7:48 am

One day, Johnny Depp will read my blog and fall into my virtual arms, where he’ll stay while we watch Benny and Joon on repeat. TRUE STORY.

Last year this kid in London wrote to him about staging a mutiny at her school against the teachers, and he turned up in full pirate regalia and did an assembly. So my thing could totally happen. I’m sure of it.

Any..day…now…

darlene July 29, 2011 at 8:58 am

i loved him, too!

alonewithcats July 29, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Holy cats, Laurenne! Judd Nelson reads your blog. I read your blog. Therefore, I am Judd Nelson? I got an A in the logic course I took in college, btw.

P.S. Hi Judd Nelson!

Jessica July 31, 2011 at 10:53 am

That is really coooooool.

rich July 31, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Who knew that your blog could be the conduit between Judd Nelson and the spec script I wrote that is just now coming out my printer?

Judd, have your people call my peo…oh, wait I don’t have people.

Just leave a comment on Laurenne’s blog.

IH August 1, 2011 at 11:42 am

I am feeling despair, because I missed yet another TT. Congrats on another successful show!

Had I gone, it would’ve been time number two that I’d seen Meredith Baxter. The first time was at an Outfest screening before she actually came out, and we shared an awkward glance. But my point is that I should’ve gone, and said hello to YOU, in a not creepy way.

(Also, when I first saw this title, I thought of Bender from Futurama)

Apocalypstick August 3, 2011 at 5:49 pm

O my damn.

Simone August 8, 2011 at 9:48 pm

you obviously have excellent skills when it comes to manifesting things into your life. the day lisa lisa from the cult jam reads my blog, i will know i have made it.

also – i live in la and need to check out your show.

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