Saturday was the 13th Annual International Survivors of Suicide Day.
“Survivors?” My friend asked. “That’s the wrong word.”
But it isn’t. Every 40 seconds someone takes his own life. And every 41 seconds, someone is left to make sense of it. That’s what the ads for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention say. That one second is a war. Everything that follows is a tsunami. There can only be survivors. There are questions. There is reasoning and rationalizing. There are thousands of ‘whys’. There are a million ‘what if’s. What if I had called more often? What if I had gone over there? What if I had never said that? Those left after a suicide drown in questions. Sometimes it takes years to figure out how to tread through them. We eventually figure it out. We never go back to normal, but we survive. ———–> The rest of this is on the Huffington Post! Check it out and spread the word.
And if you want to hear more about my story, it’s HERE. But please don’t feel bad for me. I’m telling it because I want people to know what suicide is really like. If the knew, they wouldn’t do it.
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‘We never go back to normal, but we survive’.
AMEN.
My mum killed herself when I was 18.
Thank you so much for writing about such a tender subject. I too, find that many people don’t want to hear about it, it’s still so taboo., But like, you, I deem it important, no, necessary, to talk about it, to drag it out of the shadows.
Suicide happens. It rips families apart and it fucking hurts like hell. But those left behind survive and grown stronger and stronger.
Thanks again.
Thanks for sharing your story too! We were both teenagers. Ugh.
Well, it definitely made us care less about stupid teenage stuff, right? There’s a plus.
AMEN AMEN AMEN!
So nice to know you’re there.
Well said.
Thanks, Jessica! I really miss you on Facebook.
I might revisit it after the new year, but I’m totally falling into the Google cult right now. I guess I’m a Googlist?
Beautiful. I’ve felt the loss aswel and find it amazing that you have the courage to write about it.
From my experiences I’ve learned that those who have committed suicide or who have tried have been in their own personal hell and sadly long, long past the point of being able to consider the horrifying implications of their decision on friends and family.
The first couple of times this has happened in my circle, beyond the shock, hurt, pain was the feeling of ‘how could they’… The word ‘selfish’ was whispered. The closer these experiences came within my circle, I saw the never-ending, eternal blackness faced by some of those I love. Every second a battle. Although I do not fully understand, do not condone, I have grown to empathise with their suffering also.
Hi Aude! Sorry you had to go through it as well. I’ve heard the selfish thing too, but as Woody has pointed out below, many people believe that they’re really helping others by getting rid of their existence. I just wish that people shared these thoughts with their loved ones. If my father had told me that he thought he had absolutely no options left (something he wrote in his note), we could have come up with options together.
Which is why I just wish people would talk more about it– about everything in general. Siiiigh!
Thanks for sharing your story with me and for communicating!
Defo. Speaking out is a solution.
I’m a suicide survivor but with a twist. At 17, I attempted suicide. My boyfriend found me, unresponsive – and hauled me to the ER. I am thankful for his actions that day – although it took many years before I felt that way. Initially, I was angry with him. I honestly felt that everyone would be better off without me, like my death was doing them a favor. Welcome to the warped thought processes of someone that was extremely depressed.
Thanks for that! Voices like yours are so important so people can see that it really does get better! We’ve all been depressed. I mean, even really really depressed. And if we find the courage to change our lives, good things can happen! You can one day be touring the country and trying ribs at all the different BBQ spots in town. But I guess if you tell that to a 17-yr-old, it’s hard for them to picture it.
I’m sorry you went through such a horrible time. And I thank you for shedding light on the subject. I guess if someone really thinks that death will help everyone, it could be considered a brave act.
I’m so so so happy your boyfriend found you.
Maybe that could be a documentary idea! Interviews of people who have tried suicide and are now so glad they didn’t die! Hmmm…. Glad you’re alive!! For that idea and because you are you!
I too am I suicide survivor, on two levels. My step dad killed himself when I was ten years old and I myself attempted to take my life when I was 15. It’s so important for people to know that they have resources and there are options. It is probably one of the hardest ways to lose a loved one because you are left with little to no answers as to why they chose to do what they did. Wonderful post, thanks for sharing.