The Slow Shopper
The Slow Shopper is always in front of you, never behind. She peruses the sauces, reading every last ingredient. Somehow, she always seems to wedge herself between an aisle and a display of pie crusts or fluorescent flexi-straws, depending on the season. More Slow Shopper ——–>
The Eighties Leighdy
The eighties were a fine decade. I was there. I admit they existed. I had a Caboodle and holey jean shorts. Sadly, I wasn’t old enough to partake in all the free-flowing cocaine and dollar bills I hear mentioned when someone daydreams of the eighties. More Eighties Leighdy —>
The Crowd Farter
Society says you’re really immature if you talk about farts. And comedy says you’re lazy if you talk about farts. I’ve been torn for the last few days because the infamous Crowd Farter has brought to my attention an intense desire to talk about farts. So, let’s all join hands and wear turtlenecks and be mature for a minute. Let’s forget that farts come from our butts and sometimes sound like sirens, and let’s just concentrate on the Crowd Farter himself.
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Ghayters are everywhere. And they are plenty. And I’m happy that we’re now collectively talking about how despicable they are. Not that a video from Ellen would make a ghayter stop ghayting. I doubt any one of them has seen it and said, “Oh, that lesbian is actually cool. I’m going to stop throwing bricks through that faggot’s window.”
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The Scarf Abuser
The original funny human. She thinks wearing scarves makes her artsy and European.
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